I woke up this morning. Had a meal bar. Got dressed. Went to church. Drove to work. Had half a celery stick. Worked. Ate a turkey sandwich and drank a nasty chocolate shake. Worked some more. Left work. Went to Izzy's grandmother's house for Easter lunch. Ate a banana and some ham. Went to my house. Got changed. Went to my grandmother's house for Easter dinner. Ate too much. Then ate dessert. Contemplated a movie. Decided against it. Went home.
You know what Alfred did today?
Had a seizure. Spent the day in the hospital. Got a bladder infection from a folded catheter.
I hate myself.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Friday, April 10, 2009
I connected with some old friends on facebook today. I'm feeling very proud of my ability to work that website. They keep making it more and more complicated every time I go to do something. I've almost given it up completely.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Izzy
Izzy says he can't talk to me. He should be able to talk to me about anything. I should be the one person that he knows he can always turn to. Somehow, I've become this bitch that he hates speaking to. He doesn't like talking to me because he's afraid of my judgment. But I'm not there to judge him. I'm there to support him. Always there to support him in his endeavors.
We fight a lot lately about our religious differences. I'm Roman Catholic and he's a non-denominational Christian. So we have some slight differences. But I feel like he criticizes every difference. He says he only does it because "they" do it to the Christians. What he doesn't realize is that I identify myself with the Catholics. I was raised Roman Catholic. This is my religion. So when he says those horrible things about them, it's like he's saying it about me.
He also accuses me of trying to convert him to my religion. And though it would be very nice to have him agree with me in our religious endeavors, I've given up on that a long time ago. And don't get me wrong. I love Izzy more than anything or anyone (except God), but it's like he's tearing me apart.
I still want to marry him. I still want to be with him every moment for the rest of my life. Just sometimes, I think it would have been easier if I would have fallen in love with another Roman Catholic. These are just my thoughts. I would never say anything bad about Izzy. Just that there are times that he frustrates me. It's okay though. I know I frustrate him as well.
We fight a lot lately about our religious differences. I'm Roman Catholic and he's a non-denominational Christian. So we have some slight differences. But I feel like he criticizes every difference. He says he only does it because "they" do it to the Christians. What he doesn't realize is that I identify myself with the Catholics. I was raised Roman Catholic. This is my religion. So when he says those horrible things about them, it's like he's saying it about me.
He also accuses me of trying to convert him to my religion. And though it would be very nice to have him agree with me in our religious endeavors, I've given up on that a long time ago. And don't get me wrong. I love Izzy more than anything or anyone (except God), but it's like he's tearing me apart.
I still want to marry him. I still want to be with him every moment for the rest of my life. Just sometimes, I think it would have been easier if I would have fallen in love with another Roman Catholic. These are just my thoughts. I would never say anything bad about Izzy. Just that there are times that he frustrates me. It's okay though. I know I frustrate him as well.
Wedding Ettiquette Nightmare
Things I've been thinking about:
My mom hates my dad. My dad doesn't seem to care about my mother in the slightest. Seating them at the same table was my original intention. However, adding alcohol in the mix with two divorced people at the same table might cause problems.
Izzy's family doesn't like alcohol. I'm not sure I like it either. I don't necessarily want a dry wedding either.
I wonder what I could have grown up to become if only I'd been more studious. I was always more interested in my friends, boys, and books. I never liked school. I could have been a contender. Hehe.
I'm fasting tomorrow. I should eat a lot today. Lol
Things I like:
I like that I have a profound relationship with God as of late. I feel like it completes me in a way I never could have with school, children, or even Izzy. Maybe God is what people are missing in their lives.
I like my family, but I don't spend all that much time with them. I'm thinking about just going out tonight. Izzy's not here, so I might as well do something!
My mom hates my dad. My dad doesn't seem to care about my mother in the slightest. Seating them at the same table was my original intention. However, adding alcohol in the mix with two divorced people at the same table might cause problems.
Izzy's family doesn't like alcohol. I'm not sure I like it either. I don't necessarily want a dry wedding either.
I wonder what I could have grown up to become if only I'd been more studious. I was always more interested in my friends, boys, and books. I never liked school. I could have been a contender. Hehe.
I'm fasting tomorrow. I should eat a lot today. Lol
Things I like:
I like that I have a profound relationship with God as of late. I feel like it completes me in a way I never could have with school, children, or even Izzy. Maybe God is what people are missing in their lives.
I like my family, but I don't spend all that much time with them. I'm thinking about just going out tonight. Izzy's not here, so I might as well do something!
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